The plan was simple. Go camping with our friends–Josh, Nicole, Storm, and Michelle–send them off on a hike, take Jenny on a hike to a waterfall we loved, meet back with everyone with some good news. Simple, and yet it went so amazingly wrong.
“We’re just going to go on a short little hike, guys. Why don’t you all do the longer, rockier hike. It’ll be more fun.”
I suppose at this point I should note that I had told almost nobody about my plans, and certainly had not clued in the people we were camping with that I had ulterior motives. That would have made far too much sense.
“We’d rather stick around with you guys. We’re fine doing an easy hike, and Jenny’s been talking about this waterfall for months!”
Right. I forgot about that. We’d been planning this trip since the two of us had camped there the year prior, constantly telling everyone it was far and away our favorite and how excited we were to go back with them.
“Eh, it’s just a crappy little waterfall this time of year, nothing crazy. You’d probably have more fun on the other trail.”
I REALLY THINK YOU’D HAVE MORE FUN ON THAT OTHER TRAIL, GUYS!
“That’s okay, we’d really like to see it. We can always head off to the other trail afterwards.”
And so I relented, so I didn’t sound suspiciously like I had a reason for wanting them to go away. I did, however ask if everyone wanted me to bring the (fancy and expensive) bottle of wine I had in the car with us, noting that I only had two glasses. They did not.
So we hiked to the waterfall, and everyone promptly called into judgement my definition of “crappy little waterfall”. Storm and Michelle quickly started climbing around on the rocks as I stood there taking Josh and Nicole’s abuse. Both Jenny and our dog, Louie, just stared at me, their eyes bore into me. They’ve got… lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eye.
Anyways, I stood there with my hand strategically placed in my pocket, laying in wait for a new opportunity to come up. Then it happened. Josh suggested taking a picture of us in front of the waterfall.
She actually didn’t say “Yes”, though. No, the answer I got and which I believe was far more appropriate, was a resounding “Of course I will, you asshole!”
And that’s why you’re here today.